We have all heard of IQ and EQ, and few people have heard of SQ, which is "Social Intelligence". If your job cannot be separated from working with people, such as business, management level or consultant, then SQ will be a more important a...
We have all heard of IQ and EQ, and few people have heard of SQ, which is "Social Intelligence". If your job cannot be separated from working with people, such as business, management level or consultant, then SQ will be a more important ability than IQ.
The earliest psychologist to propose "social intelligence" was Edward Thorndike. He defined social intelligence as the ability to handle and understand human relations, whether the other party is a man or a woman, an adult or a child, and to make appropriate responses. And such abilities are not born with prescriptions, but learned through acquired learning.
People with high social intelligence are very good at observing their words and appearances, can quickly identify the other party's feelings, and also know what to say at the time and when not to say. Even in social gatherings with many people, they can show a credible appearance.
The four abilities possessed by those with high social intelligenceHow to determine whether their social intelligence is considered high? You can evaluate these four abilities:
1. Effective listening: Be able to hear words in the other party's words
Many people will go a long way to express their thoughts and needs due to tactfulness and embarrassment. People with high social intelligence will not only hear the surface when listening to other people's words. They can often hear words and implicit sounds in the other party's words, so that the other party feels that they are understood.
2. Dialogue skills: We should have met a person who can talk to anyone, whether it is an uncle, a child or Mr. Wang who lives next door, the biggest feature of this type is "be careful about details", such as the other party wearing a pair of new shoes, a different hairstyle than before, and an unintentional mention of something, etc. These are all very useful dialogue materials.
In addition, in conversation, they are humorous, appropriate and flexible, and will not make people feel uncomfortable or exudate a heavy "social feeling".
3. Image management: Optimize your image on the premise of being honest
Confucius once said, "Don't speak nonsense", the general meaning is not to pay attention to or listen to what he says because he does not like this person. But in fact, many people are "indifferent to others". If you give people a bad impression, no matter how wise you are, the other party will not pay too much attention to it.
But this is not about you putting out a fake look, but rather, avoiding doing something vivid under the premise of being honest, such as always writing Facebook posts to complain about colleagues.
4. Inclusiveness and tolerance: We will hardly meet people who are completely consistent with our personality, value and opinions. "Inclusiveness and tolerance" is a major point of social intelligence. Even if you do not agree with what the other party says, you will not respond to them in a perceptible way. Instead, you can use an open mind to listen, and you can express your views in a rational way that does not make people uncomfortable.
How to cultivate social intelligence1. Cultivating sensitive observation
"Pay attention to details" is the first step in cultivating social intelligence, because everyone likes to be understood and understood, and the premise of paying attention to details is to maintain "curiosity" with people, start by observing the changes in others' appearance, and then slowly observe the changes in others' moods, and read others with an open mind.
2. Practice observation of emotional information
"Emotional IQ" (EQ) also has a great relationship with social intelligence. Many people have conflicts from time to time, and they do not understand other people's emotions. If you can well observe your feelings and can adjust or express them locally, you can handle them easily when encountering difficult customers or bosses.
3. Practice the extreme hearing
"Extreme hearing" is different from general hearing. The former needs to give the other party a sense of "understanding", and make the other party feel this way. Don't rush to respond. Try to understand the meaning behind his words. In addition to what he says, you also observe their verbal or non-language messages (such as eyes and hands). You will get a lot of useful social information from it.
