A Xiang, who is in Haojiao, has known his wife Grace for 10 years. The two got married and gave birth to three daughters. Last week, they were photographed having sex with the host, Xie Xin, kissing on the street. Netizens called Axiang's wife s...
A Xiang, who is in Haojiao, has known his wife Grace for 10 years. The two got married and gave birth to three daughters. Last week, they were photographed having sex with the host, Xie Xin, kissing on the street. Netizens called Axiang's wife so beautiful and happy marriage, why did she still have an affair? American two-sex expert and writer explains the ordinary people’s misunderstanding of “there must be something wrong with marriage.” Esther Perel, a two-sex relationship researcher who once wrote rethinking The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, explains how people deceive their companions, even if they are satisfied with the relationship.
1. Why do people risk losing everything and deceive their companions who have made common promises?Taking a man's cheating as an example, when a woman finds out, the typical idea is that something must have happened, or that I lacked a certain part of what he needed, so he went to find a mistress. But this is a defective model. People regard infidelity as a condition of a problem with a relationship. Although this is true in many situations, there are many motors that can explain why people are dissatisfied with each other or feel dissatisfied with the relationship; such as solitary, neglect, rejection, self-contained, indifferent.
However, there are also machines that are usually irrelevant to the companion. This is related to the way of pursuing oneself. Many times, people live the same life day by day, and men have a secret thought hidden in their hearts, thinking that life has no vitality and hope to reconnect with the lost part of themselves.
2. Why do men think that this is pursuing themselves?
and they think that men are dissatisfied with their wife. It is better to think that it is because they are not satisfied with the man themselves. In fact, it is to feel uneasy and uncomfortable with yourself, longing for something else, and longing for reconnecting the lost parts of yourself and surpassing their deep suffocation.
At this time, there was a mistake of re-experience of autonomy in life, and they finally did what they wanted, at least they thought that was what they wanted. Moreover, paradoxically, when men expose liberty to their wives, they will find that they have a strange feeling: "Maybe it's the first time they are not exposing liberty."
So after a Taiwanese drama's Critical Wife, Ruifan, thought that he had regained his passion for life, and lost his marriage and messed up his work and life. Because he thought he lacked something under his comfortable state, he proved that his life was intentional through the stimulation of an affair.
3. Clinic and confirmation, it is a big taboo to put a blind eye.
Marriage is very difficult and is a matter of one's own life. It is strange to find that my husband's behavior is not a problem. If the two of them usually have no problems, it may be his own psychological problem. Establish a bottom line for the relationship between the two people and discuss with each other honestly and frankly. The sooner you face it, the better you can start a better life again.
This does not mean that it is divorce. If two people are willing to deal with the problem together and start over, they can try to get off the marriage, marry and try new things with their partners.
The most fear is that you dare not speak out if you have any worries, or that you can’t bear it for the sake of your family, and diagnose your marriage infidelity. After confirming that you choose to remove or replenish your skin, and it is a taboo to let go of your slack.
